don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize