this will be a night to untag.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
