Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
