I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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