i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize