1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
