He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
