Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So squirting runs in the family.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
