This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
