I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
