FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
