So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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