And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
