I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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