so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
