So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
