he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
