Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My bed smells like the plague
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
