im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
