do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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