My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
