She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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