I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm at about main and main street
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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