Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
