told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
