FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
