I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
