he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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