I didn't shave. On purpose
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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