yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
