This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
