DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
