I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
