As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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