i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
