wanna go halves on a baby?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
