Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
