Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
