allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
