my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
