I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
