ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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