yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
