you mean i was at the winter classic?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
