I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
