well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
