Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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