your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
