hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
