"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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