You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
