i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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