i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
