watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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