Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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