Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
