i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize