btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
