i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize