I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize